If confession is good for the soul,

here you have it.

I simply don’t want to do this alone.  I wasn’t supposed to be diving alone, not how I envisioned learning,  not how I envisioned chasing rubber torpedo’s in the water,  none of it. Yesterday, as I prepared for an event, I pulled this out of my folder.  When I saw this post on Michelle’s fb page, I cried.   I never thought it would be ‘me’.  It is me.  It was such a good reminder that yea, IT IS ME! fbscreen
I also needed to find something buried in my fb messages and ran across this from a dear friend: “I heard you panicked…just get back on the horse. You are stronger than you think.” Thank you, Star, for being my Christopher Robin. Since my epic melt down, I’ve been back and have put my tank together by myself (without any explosions), wrewinnie-the-pooh-quotes1stled the entire contraption out of the water, can pop my ears, clear my mask, and lose my ‘life support system’, all the while feeling rather accomplished. And alone.

I re-listened to my pod cast with Drew Myers from Defining Audacity.  (pod cast link, if you’d like to listen). Thank you, Drew, it helps keep me remembering where I am!
I am re-focused on May, and going into it with a pretty full calendar, but, I WILL find the time, because I want to – to get back in the pool again!  My friend Linda said, if you want to do it, you’ll find the time.  So, here’s to staying focused, carving out scubamethe time, staying scheduled, and getting back in the water.  Not because I ‘have’ to – but, because I ‘want’ to!

Thanks for following me along on this
wild journey!

Growing in Grace,
Laura B.
lgbeck59@gmail.com

 

Living it Out ~ Step by Step, Part 1.5

Yes, you read that correctly, part 1.5.
In my last blog, Part 1, I shared this:  For about a year prior to his passing, we began to dream big, and decided to live large, as our children had all made it to adult-hood.

Today’s post is more about living life out loud, and what that looks like in my world.  Over the past couple of months, I have felt that, in relationship to ‘why’ I am involved in Beautycounter.

In November, I felt that my why was no longer real.  Didn’t seem real to me, and, if it doesn’t seem real to me, how could it sound real to others?  As I considered that thought, I began to re-word my ‘why’, a portion of it looks like this:
As Ted was retired, we believed that with my income from Beautycounter, we would plan to travel, and live out loud the rest of our lives – however, that plan changed, when he passed away in October of 2013. To say that altered my life, would be an understatement, but to honor his memory, my income with purpose-findyourwhy-v3-300x300Beautycounter is allowing me to pay it forward into areas of giving that Ted held close to his heart, and also give me the opportunity to ‘live our list’,,,

I must confess, when I began to re-work my ‘why’, I had not officially been named the recipient of the Live The List . I was hopeful, but, hadn’t been officially named.  I’m excited to face that challenge, alone, but, not alone, as I know I have the backing of so many widows and widowers who have walked the same path.

I’m also looking forward to 2016 with a new perspective, a new chance to live out loud, pursue my business with passion (re-fired), and continue to discover ‘me’! 59590260a4364acf5ecd5aaa46441117
What about you?  What do you look forward to as 2016 peers down upon us all.
My prayer for you is if you’ve lost your compass,  that you find a new strength, a new purpose, a new hope.

An update on my Scuba Adventure ~ the plan is to begin my lessons soon after the 1st of the year, so – next week!! I’m pretty doggone excited, and am looking forward to you to continue the journey with me!

 

Growing in Grace,
Laura B.
lgbeck59@gmail.com
Join the Counter Revolution!

 

Living it out, step by step ~ Part One

Do you know me?  Maybe not, maybe you do, maybe you follow my (very sporadic) blog posts.  Over the next few weeks, or, however, long it takes, I’m inviting you to go on a journey with me.

In October of 2013, my beloved went home to be with the Lord.  For about a year prior to his passing, we began to dream big, and decided to live large, as our children had all made it to adult-hood.  One of the big plans/dreams was to take scuba diving lessons, become certified, and dive in exotic places around the world.  Sadly, that did not materialize.   I gave up on living live out loud.  Or, at least, on those things we were going to do ‘together’.  As a matter of fact, one friend encouraged me to still dive, and I said, no – I didn’t even want to do that anymore.

I would have to say, about a year and a half into my ‘new normal’ journey, I stumbled upon a facebook page entitled One Fit Widow.  Her story of loss, but, more importantly, her desire to live, and to live out loud,  was simply inspiring for me.  She is truly, in my mind, a super-hero.

That is the back-story to where I find myself today. One of the facets of Michelle’s life is the building of a not-for-profit organization, called Live the List.  Michelle’s passion, along with her husband Keith (chapter 2, isn’t that amazing to be doubly blessed?), want to see widows and widowers live out the passions that they were unable to do because of the death of their spouse.

The Wednesday prior to Thanksgiving, I applied.  I thought, I can’t lose, right?  I reached out to the Aqua-Hut to determine the cost of classes, etc.  It was soon after the first of the month that I saw this on Facebook:
fbscreenMan!  Did I feel honored that Michelle was posting about ‘me’.  I wanted to burst, so I did.  into tears!
On December 8th, I posted this on my Instagram, and Facebook: It was a couple of hours later that I received an email from Live the List that I had been selected!  So, yeoceans, I burst out in tears.   You probably are getting a pattern here!
Tears.  I read the email to my son, as I cried.
When I think about this, I continue to cry.  I am truly humbled and blessed beyond measure that I was chosen for this truly memorable gift!

Last night, I couldn’t sleep – as I scrolled Facebook, I ran across this post on the One Fit Widow Facebook Page:

Tonight I want to tell you a love story.

In the photo below is a beautiful couple who shared a lifetime together. This is Ted and Laura and they first met 12/31/1977 when they were snowed in for 5 days STRAIGHT at Laura’s sisters house during the blizzard of 78.

Talk about fate and timing!

For 35 plus years and 6 children – Laura loved Ted and Ted loved Laura.

Ted dreamed of taking scuba diving lessons when he recovered and received a liver transplant. Unfortunately Ted never got the chance to make this dream come true.onefitwidowpic

Laura has come to Live The List Nonprofit to help her complete this wish of Ted’s. She has decided it will help her move forward boldly with her own personal future all while honoring a man who gave her all of him.

That’s what our nonprofit wants to offer. You see, by fulfilling dreams they had for their future in many ways we decide to keep living our future. That’s what I personally learned when I started living Mitch’s list and I love that other widowers are able to have that incredible feeling too. Many widows don’t have the financial resources to have these simple moments of pure happiness because the difficult situations they were left in leave them strapped. No time to think of themselves and their wishes for the future. We want to grant as many wishes as possible because we believe it makes a difference in many lives.

Laura, I can’t wait to see the photos from your dive and I’m so glad our nonprofit was able to help you live this dream for Ted but also for YOU.

By December 31st our goal is to raise $10,000 for our baby nonprofit. We have currently raised about $2000. We are a 501c3 organization which means some or all of your donation is tax deductible. If everyone just gave $20 tonight we’d long surpass our goal and be able to help countless widows/widowers.

Can you help us help others Live the List?

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for any shares or donations. We can’t do it without you.

Good night world – together we can make a difference,

Michelle

Guess what happened??? I cried my eyes out!!

With that, I’ll wrap up post #1.  I would love to see you follow my journey!
You can simply subscribe to my blog for updates!

Growing in Grace,
Laura B.
lgbeck59@gmail.com